Burnout to Recovery
Just as a bushfire clears the way for new growth,
burnout clears the way for us to restore ourselves.
Have you ever felt burnout; where your work life is consuming you rather than empowering you? You feel like a shell of the person you want to be.
There is a way to come back from burnout. Just as nature rests to regrow and recover from a bushfire, when we rest, reframe our thoughts and set new boundaries, we can recover from burnout.
To briefly recap from a previous blog, burnout is chronic stress caused by being so passionate about our work role or any ‘giving to others’ role, that we don’t have the time or energy to look after ourselves. It has three characteristics: exhaustion, emotional detachment and a loss of meaning and purpose.
How do we recover? According to Dutch psychologist Charlotte Labbe, who specialises in burnout recovery, workplace stress generally takes 11 weeks to recover from using active steps. That means more than just a holiday.
Step One: STOP
We stop fighting the stress of work and we nourish ourselves, to relax and feel happy again. We acknowledge our exhaustion caused by overwork.
We stop listening to the pushy internal voice saying, “keep going, you can do it” and listen to the gentle voice saying, “please look after me.”
We stop work for a few days and instead we do what we love. We relax while reading, watching a film and listening to music. We are surprised when we close our eyes for just 5 minutes and sleep for an hour.
We stop the attachment to our screens and instead connect with nature. We breathe in the fresh air of a park or bushland, feel the breeze and sun, notice the wildlife and enjoy a sunset or sunrise. We are surprised that we are breathing deeply, feel calm and may even find ourselves inspired.
We stop planning time to get things done, instead we take the time to restore with the energy of a massage, meditation, park run, yoga or dance class. We are surprised how energised we feel by letting go of stress.
Step Two: Reframe our thoughts
Consider… how do I stop my current toxic relationship with work and reignite an empowering relationship?
Just as regrowth of a burnt out tree begins at its core - the trunk - our empowering relationship begins at the core of our thoughts.
This is where a wise, skilled friend, mentor, coach or therapist helps us to reframe our thoughts. They ask questions, so we find our answers. They know we are the expert in knowing what is best for us.
Skilled listeners acknowledge our feelings and amplify our strengths. They enquire so we understand what is not working and what could work. Their words encourage us to balance caring for ourselves with work.
When we say:
“I have worked so hard to get the job I love. I don’t want to start again.” A wise listener amplifies our strengths saying “It’s scary to start again. You have these proven transferable strengths and skills, what other skills do you want to use more of?”
“I need to keep pushing myself to keep my job to pay the mortgage, school fees and lifestyle we want. In pushing myself, I am pushing those I love away.” A caring listener enquires to find what we hope for, saying, “It’s hard when we feel we don't have a choice. How do you want to connect with loved ones and connect with meaningful work?”
“I keep adapting myself to the toxic culture of work where leadership cares more about revenue, than people or clients. The targets just get greater. It’s unsustainable.” An empathetic listener acknowledges saying, “It’s not sustainable to work so hard for other people’s targets. What targets are sustainable for you?”
“Times are tough so I just need to toughen up. I didn't realise in toughening up, I’d lose the ability to be creative, adaptive, laugh or cry. In losing the joy of living, life gets tougher.” A skilled listener encourages saying, “Life is tougher when we are not fulfilled. What would an ideal work role be for you?”
A beautiful example of listening to understand is in Season 2, episode 8 of Ted Lasso. Sharon, the team’s therapist, listens, empathises and thanks Ted for his courage to share his burnout experience.
Journaling helps us to embed our reframed thoughts. When we journal, we write encouraging thoughts of gratitude, to create a great attitude. We write daily on what we are grateful for in our work and how we use our new strategies to stay in balance.
Step Three: Set new boundaries
As more people are realising their need to prioritise their health and well-being, there has been an emerging workplace trend, called ‘quiet quitting’. This is where people perform their responsibilities and quit working above and beyond reasonable expectations.
They set new boundaries to be clear on what is okay and not okay, such as:
It’s okay to allocate 37.5 hours of the 168 hours per week to work. It's not okay to work more than 40 hours per week. I am more productive when I am rested.
It’s okay to be flexible and work from home. It’s not okay to take work calls during family allocated time. I monitor my work hours at home.
It’s okay to pause when someone adds another task to my role. It’s not okay for them to pressure me. I add additional tasks if I have space to help. If I don’t, I politely decline.
It’s okay to not be available after hours to switch off and re-energise myself. It’s not okay to ignore my needs. My body and mind need nourishment.
Our boundaries guide us to live a fulfilling life. Remind yourself: it’s okay to care for myself so I can give to others and do the work I love. It’s not okay when the workplace does not value me. I value me and that is all that matters.
Using these 3 steps, work is no longer a bushfire that burns us out. Work becomes a candle we light and ignite so that we can light the candles of other meaningful roles in our lives.
